Webster’s Definition: Mistress
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Main Entry: mis·tress
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Pronunciation: \ˈmis-trəs\ -
Function: noun
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Etymology: Middle English maistresse, from Anglo-French mestresse, feminine of mestre master — more at master
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Date: 14th century
1 : a woman who has power, authority, or ownership: as
a. the female head of a household
b. a woman who employs or supervises servants
c. a woman who is in charge of a school or other establishment
d. a woman of the Scottish nobility having a status comparable to that of a master
This I find most intriguing… We also have the other parts of the definition…
2 a. chiefly British : a female teacher or tutor
b. a woman who has achieved mastery in some field
3 something personified as female that rules, directs, or dominates <when Rome was mistress of the world>
4 a. a woman other than his wife with whom a married man has a continuing sexual relationship
b. archaic : sweetheart
5 a. used archaically as a title prefixed to the name of a married or unmarried woman
b.chiefly Southern & Midland : mrs.
Interesting that nowhere does it mention a BDSM relationship with this term. #4 says “continuing sexual relationship” but is that really so? Is it a sexual relationship that a Mistress has with her slave or is it more? #1 says “a woman who has power, authority, or ownership” which I tend to feel is more the case in the realm of BDSM. It’s a topic I enjoy bouncing around with people.
What is your definition of “Mistress”?
September 17th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Well, it is kind of an old definition, since it is dated to the 14th century. I’m not well versed in the history of BDSM, but I do know that it was a lot less commonly open than it is now, and so it makes sense that the word wouldn’t really be used like that.
I’d simply define it as “A woman who fills the role of the Top in a BDSM relationship”, and while it is a somewhat simplistic definition, and not one that covers everything a Mistress does, it’s one that works for me. I’m sure there’s a better definition though.